Manar's Moments

At 6:00 a.m. I'm still awake Thinking about my life How can I live a life that doesn't resemble me? There are many around me, but I'm alone Quiet but noisy I'm not weak I'm just lost I feel a lot A broken heart A busy mind A body without a soul, that's me The rose is no longer blooming There's no happiness in my eyes Everything has become heavy When I brush my teeth, when I watch TV I feel like I don't want to do anything I want to stay lying down Whether I'm asleep or awake Nothing matters to me anymore

 The hardest thing I've been through is when I feel pain without anyone knowing, and all I can say is "I'm fine." But others keep bothering and blaming you just because you changed, without knowing the internal struggle you're going through. I used to always say that the days are all the same, no difference, and I got bored with the routine, but now I know and feel the difference. I used to be good at avoiding everything and not facing it—happy, active, always moving, and talking a lot. Now, everything is the opposite. You see me calm, silent, with no expression on my face, but inside there’s a huge chaos that no one else hears. Why did this happen? Because I started facing my feelings and letting go of my old self—my habits and toxic relationships, the effort I put in alone without receiving anything in return. I'm currently going through a difficult period to become better. I didn't know it would be this painful and exhausting. The problem is I'm sti...